The Married Woman

[87Ranger]

I've been seeing a married woman who I am considerably older than. We have been seeing each other about six months. She has a multitude of issues that I don't have a problem with. The problem is an adviser of hers has told her that she needs to end her relationship with her husband, (Which she is) before she can start anything up with me. Again something I understand. Here is the matter I'm concerned with. I know I need to give her some space to figure out what she wants in life, how do I go about doing that? What is space? Never calling her? Letting her come to me? Avoiding seeing her where I know I am going to? I just want to respect what she needs to do with her life. She wants me around, but she just wants to take it easy. Any advice?

[eightball61]

The meaning "space" varies in definition from person to person. You need to communicate with her on your feelings about this subject to see what she wants. She is the one that needs to get the divorce and to have the proper space to move on. She has to tell you what she wants for space. When she does tell you what she wants for space then you'll need to "respect" the distance she requests. During this time you'll need to be patient with her because these things take time.

[83blue]

Seriously, make your life a priority first rather than puttin' it all up on her.

Let her come to you. That definitely will tell you if she's ready or not to be w/you and whatnot.

Until then, do your own thing.

[87Ranger]

I appreciate the replies from both of you. I do have patience, but Blue is right, one of the reasons she is leaving her husband is because he doesn't have a life. If I sit here and wait on her I'm only doing myself a disservice. I'm not going to break up with her, at least not yet, but if she is going to go out and try to figure out what she's been missing, then I'm going to continue to do what I know was never missed in the first place.

I find it interesting that people who think that dating is the greatest thing and that there isn't any hurt out there quickly learn that when you're looking for substance in a relationship, ninety nine percent of the time it isn't found in a bar, and the hurts come aplenty. I get the feeling she'll realize that being footloose and fancy free comes at a price. And that maybe the sacrifice will be me. I have all the patience in the world, I think I just need to be careful.

[eightball61]

I have all the patience in the world, I think I just need to be careful.


^^ The advice you been looking for is in your quote.