kangarookid
05-29-2004, 12:07 AM
I have been in agonizingly in love with Jon for three years. He's 21 and I am 19. But he is one of my sister's old friends, so its slightly awkward. But I have spent a lot of time with him and his friends and we have so much in common, its as if he 's always thinking of the same exact things that I think about or thought about that same day. And I've noticed throughout this time he had started to act differently towards me. And about over six months ago we had been talking and having fun at this party. And we were alone for awhile and had a really deep conversation. We started to hold hands and cuddle, then he leaned over and kissed me. We kissed and kissed for 2 hours. But this was way different than any other time I had kissed a boy, this was very very intense and passionate. I could feel the both of us trembling, and when I looked into his eyes he had this look, like he had always felt the same way about me. It was the most beautiful experience of my life. I also think it was his first or second time kissing a girl, since he had only dated one girl in his life. After we kissed he asked me out on a date, so I said "yes" of course. We never verbally told each other our feelings for one another. So the next week I waited long sleepless nights waiting for his call, which never happened. My heart was broken. So after another week of agony I decided that I had to call him. He seemed really surprised that it was me when he answered the phone, so we talked for about a half an hour or so. I waited for him to ask me out, but he never even did, we talked about silly stuff and hung up. I was so scared to tell him how I felt, and I think he was too. So I started getting really nervous and doubtful about it all. "Does he not want to out with me because he's shy? Is he embarrassed about it because of I'm his friend's little sister? Or does he not like me that much?" Then the next time I saw him he was really weird and nervous around me, but he still was kinda flirty and touchy. I told him to call me, but of course he never did. Then he left to a camp over the summer in Washington state and I didn't see him for a year. When I finally saw him again after he came back, he was really excited to see me, and even said so himself. Then we saw each other at another party, but he talked to me for a while. But when I got a little drunk I started to get cuddly with him and tried to hold his arm, he pulled away from me and got all weird about it. And it was infront of his friends. The rest of the night I didn't talk to him very much. So for a month I felt terrible and figured that he didn't like me anymore. But about week ago we saw each other at anther one his friend's parties, he had a very surpised look on his face and had a big smile when he saw me. He was much more friendly and open to me this time. We laughed and talked about art, music, and all of our same interests and ideas. Then we went to his apartment and talked for a while more. I noticed a couple of things of mine in his apartment that he had bought from a garage sale me and my sister had. He also kept a couple pictures that I had drawn as well. So I started gaining my confidence and decided to invite him to do something over the next weekend, and he acted really excited about it. I figured that he wasn't going to be too shy this time and be really psyched to hang out with me. But the weekend came and he didn't call me, again. What's going on? It's like he's really into me one second, then he acts weird and standoffish the next. But Im guessing since he's kind of a dirty hippy, and he doesn't seem to have very many other girls liking him, that he's too scared of me since I obviously do, and a lot. I don't care what he looks like, he's so special to me. I've never been so in love with anyone, and I can't imagine feeling like this for anyone else in the future. He has changed my life forever and I know that we are meant for each other, but I can't get him to even call me. But I also noticed that he was able to call me before we had kissed, but now he can't at all. What's his deal? What should I do? Is he just one of those really difficult shy boys? Or does he seem to not be very into me? Help!!! :confused: