Is he waiting for me?

[Mostlyconfused]

This guy and I at work were great friends. I told him that I wanted to get to know each other better and see what happens so we started getting closer. I think I may have smothered him a bit because he pulled away. Then I backed off some and recently he's been initiating contact but he is very shy. He also not very experienced when it comes to women or dating.

He always seems to have to have a reason for initiating the contact - not just because he wants to. He makes it a point to get close to me and flirt so I assume he is interested but he won't make any other moves.

We went out a couple times but the last time I asked him, he said he was busy so I replied with a "well maybe we'll get together again sometime" and left it at that. We've never brought it up again so I'm not sure if that's the reason he won't ask me to go out again. Will he think I may reject him? Could he possibly be waiting for me to bring up the issue again?

[shy1]

Hello well I can't speak for that guy, but I have been in the exact situation except from his point. I am extremely shy, and when things start getting even slightly serious I tend to pull away, not that I'm not interested, its just its a bit overwhelming when a man tries to get close. If he is as shy and very unexperienced with the opposite as I am, he probably just got nervous and I suggest you work on being a bit more subtle he'll come around. Try to let him come to you. Besided although men say they would like it if girls made the first move, Alot of them feel intimidated by the lack of control.

Good Luck!
Shy1

[bv3qc]

welcome to the 21st century...

you obviously care about the man... Probably he does care about you also but he might be scare to go further because of past experience or maybe he is tired of you or maybe some cells in his brain started to work weirdly (anything possibilities are possible right ?).

I think you reached a point where you do need to tell him what you feel about him. Why ? just to know if he has also feelings for you... then if he does probably that will just give him a boost of confidence to push the relationship a little bit further...

You see, I don't think that there are masculine / feminine approach in love because there is nothing logic about that so why are you stopping yourself on some "weirdos standards" from the movies / books about him having to be the one coming to you first...

If you want something to happen with this man because you feel he is bringing some light in your life, well just do something about it. Asking him out like you did was a good initiative but you should just ask him again, and get a specific date, if he is evasive, tell him that you want to talk to him and if it is possible to call him or to take a coffee in a really near future...

men aren't that dumb, he will think that you want to tell him something, that is his decision if he wants to hear what you have to say... if he doesn't show any proactivity to reach to you... probably you are better off to leave him alone.

Anyways, i am not a fan of phone calls or e-mails but sometimes it can be the last option if you really want to let it of your chest and he doesn't want to see you at the restaurant or something...


best of luck
phil

[nkitovar]

Hi
You are not clear with your thoughts, will you give more information. So I can help you out in this matter.